Monday, May 17, 2010

Brown Skin

It's around this time of year that I start to really dislike White People.  White People, you suck!  Yes, I am *technically* also a White Person, but I tend to fall on the darker side of white.  Inevitably, in the spring and summer I tend to tan quite well.  I become so dark, that it seems that White People can't contain themselves.  The questions start; the darker I become, the more questions I receive.

"What nationality are you?"


"If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me that in my life, I'd have enough money to buy your pasty white ass for my slave, mofo!"

Okay, so no, I don't really get to say that.  But how awesome would it be if I did?  *vows to remember to say that next time*

Not only are White People so audacious as to ask what nationality I am, if I choose to just tell the truth and say that I'm a Canadian, or go further and say that I'm a fucking W.A.S.P., they can't be satisfied.  Said White People can't take that for an answer.  They need to suggest nationalities for me.

"You look like you're East Indian."

"No, she looks like she's Italian."

"I think you could pass for Greek."

"I have a friend from Singapore who looks like you!"

"Are you sure you're not Jewish?"

Ooh, and my own personal favourite, "Are you sure he's your dad with that red hair and freckles?  Was your mother overly fond of the milkman?  Bwahahahaha!!!!"  Yes, because apparently calling my mother a straight up ho who would pass off my questionable paternity onto her unsuspecting husband is sooooo totally hilarious.

Argh!  It's taken me a lot of years to become comfortable in my skin.  A lot longer than it should have taken, as far as I'm concerned, and I work hard to make sure that I stay that way.  I have come to love my "brown skin", and I've almost forgotten the teasing I had to endure when I was younger on account of not being "white enough" for the other white people.  I take pleasure in the idea that I look "ethnic", and that I can travel to many other countries and just blend in with the locals.

I am able now to laugh when people ask me the 'nationality' question, and have great fun telling them lies.  Currently, I'm from Sweden.   If they're going to be so rude as to ask me such a question, then I am not going to feel bad about deceiving them.  

Hej, älskare!

That's all,