Thursday, June 18, 2009

He Will Rock You!

I had the pleasure on Tuesday of attending a "lip sync" concert at my son's school. This consisted of groups of children aged seven to nine. They'd been practicing for weeks as part of both their drama and music classes, so it was much anticipated when the date finally arrived. There were a few performances that were brilliant, but for the most part many of the kids were scared stiff and barely moved.

Now, is it just me, or is lip syncing something that was primarily done in the eighties? There is nothing more eighties than the art of the lip sync! At least for me it conjures up memories of doing the moonwalk or twirling around on stage to "La Isla Bonita".

Well, some things have changed. For one, the only singer parents had to really worry about when we were kids was Madonna. Madonna was overtly sexual, but let's face it, nothing compared to what kids are listening to today. It was disconcerting to me to see children of that age singing along to Kid Rock with lyrics like, "Making love out by the lake to our favorite song; sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinkin bout tomorrah..." or gyrating around to Lady Gaga, "Honey when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun" or "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick".

I am definitely not one of "those" moms, the ones who would freak out if my kids even heard a song like that, but couldn't the teacher or parents have swayed the children into choosing a different song? Do kids even know what a "Dirty Little Secret" is? Or an "All American Reject"? And why is AC/DC still cool? Hells Bells!!!

What's worse, is that the whole experience made me hate Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus less. Gah! The humanity! Between all of the inappropriate music, I was actually starting to look forward to hearing this monstrosity of a song one more time, because at least it was age appropriate.

And thank GAWD that Taylor Swift is not a ho! She gave my ears a break, lest they bleed from the over-use of the Disney-sugar. The same. song. five. times.

Forgive me readers, for I have erred. Don't press play. You won't be able to stop singing it.

Liam decided to do "We Will Rock You" by Queen. He'd been practicing so much at home that as soon as the first few beats of the song came on, Harrison sung out in his baby language, "We will we will wock you!" which made everyone around him giggle. Cuteness overload!

Liam is a reserved child. He's stoic. He has been known to go entire days without really having any type of conversation with anyone in the house. That's normal for him. I don't usually have to worry about him because I know him. He is more 'me' than I am sometimes, and there's something between us that doesn't require words for communication. But he shocked the eff out of me when he was onstage.

I said to him a few days before the concert, "Do you ever get stage fright?" You know, coming from a mother who's had severe social anxiety her whole life... He said, "No. When I get onstage I just get this weird feeling and it pumps me up". He was elated even when talking about it. (I laughed silently to his use of the words "pumps me up" Bwahahaha!!!!) I thought, "Okay, I'll find out".

His confidence shocked me. Boy had swagga! He had moves I'd never seen! He took to the microphone with his fake guitar and came alive. His air guitar skills were impressive. He knew all the words, and his facial expressions were priceless. At the end of the song he slid on his knees towards the edge of the stage, roared with his tongue out like Gene Simmons, slung his guitar behind his back, and raised both hands over his head in a death-metal-type gesture, then leaped from the stage like a professional. I think if the crowd had been closer he would have tried to surf them.

Who is this child?!!!

I'm proud, yes of course. I'm glad he's found something he loves apart from academics. But worried. I am a worrier. I'll enroll him in guitar lessons like he's wanted, to start. But there's no way I'm pimping him out to Mickey Mouse so he can become some icky little Jonas Brother or *gasp* Zach Efron. Gah!

He'll have to remember though, that if he wants to be a rock star he's going to have to buy mama a house, a car, and some bling.

But mostly the bling.


Leah. said...

Oh damn! I pressed play and now can't get that song out of my head.

Soccer Milf said...

Pop it lock it, polka dot it!

Mandy's Kidding said...

That song terrifies me.

Soccer Milf said...

Miley Cyrus terrifies me. Even worse: her parents.

My West Coast Wedding said...

Sorry I haven't been around, but I do pop in to read you and Mandy *high fives self for sucking up to the Buddha Mama* But I wanted to tell you I still adore you.

Lori said...

and oops, fukitall, that's the wrong google name.

Organic Meatbag said...

Freddie Mercury would be proud! Hahaha!

Widow on the West said...

Oh I wish I could have seen that. It would have been fabulous. I wish I didn't live so far away. I miss out on so much! :(