You Are the Champions, My Friends

I'm a day late, (Ugh! To pick the winners, people. Totally. NOT. Pregnant.) which for me means that I'm actually early. I do have an excuse, though. No, not an excuse. The very word 'excuse' sounds feeble! I have a valid reason as to why I'm a day late, and not because I procrastinate more than Hamlet and that is my true nature.

I've been sick. Really, really sick. The second stomach flu in 6 weeks went through our house like a whirlwind. Just as I thought we were really getting over it and that my washing machine might finally forgive me for riding her hard and putting her away wet, the oldest child started puking again last night. Gah! I seriously can't get a break.

On the bright side, I lost six pounds with the first flu and three with this last one, so we'll see how that evens out in the future. I know I'd joked on my Facebook status and said that I was one stomach flu away from my goal weight, but I didn't really mean that I wanted to contract it again two weeks later. Seriously, be careful what you wish for. That'll teach me.

*I promise that none of the items the winners will be receiving have come into contact with any puke though most everything else in this house has, including the dog's head.*

So what I did was just to assign all of y'all a number based on which number your comment was, minus the ones from me. Then I went to this website which spits out random numbers for you within the range you select. It doesn't just do numbers, either. Check it out! I'm pretty sure that this website could be the key to world peace and no divorce! Or something like that. List randomiser!!!! Squeee!

So you all are anxious to know who the winners are, right?

Have I kept you waiting long enough?

Wait for it.

Patience, dammit!

Alright. The winners are:

Rick! One of my favourite guys* and kind of a like an "Uncle Rick" to me and most everyone who knows him. And his girlfriend has the coolest name ever.

Lou! His name is not Lou, but let's just call him that for now because I wish it was. Also one of my favourite guys who is kind of like an older cousin that you never really got to spend much time with because whenever you went to visit him he would be up in his bedroom rocking out to heavy metal with his rad rooster-mullet. He was the one who introduced me to Guitar Hero, so obviously I owe this man a lot.

Tracy! My favourite Scrabble partner! My days are empty when there is no Scrabble/Scrabulous involved. Especially when we try to out-perv each other in the words we make. Who cares about points! We want to see if we can get words like "poon" and "meatus" to actually post, and if not we try to suggest them to the administration. Too much information?

Since these people are also on my Facebook list I will contact them over there so that no one has to post their email addresses in public. I get enough mail from "Big, Beautiful Singles" and those kings in Nigeria who need me, and only me, to distribute their millions. How would I ever find the time to help them all? There is only so much of me to go around.

Winners (not to imply that the others are losers), if you see this before I get to you, message me and tell me which prize you would like. We'll also work out the details at that time.

There you have it. Go forth and blogify**!




*You know how most of you are my favourite guys, right? I just don't get the chance to tell you often enough.

**Soccer Milf also would like you to know that even though she normally detests puns, she is nerdy enough to appreciate ones she makes herself, and only those.