The Circle Game

My baby boy had a birthday yesterday. Four years old. It seems like only yesterday that my cousin called me to ask why I was so late, and I told her that it was because I was in labour a week early. I do know that one day I'll wake up alone, hearing the ghost of little baby feet tip-toeing into my room for an early morning snuggle and realise that they're all grown up and gone; living their own lives.

I'll remember how he always loved to see me wearing a dress and red lipstick, and how he always made sure there were at least two stuffed animals in my bed before he went to sleep, so that I wouldn't be lonely. How he always asked me if I wanted help "downloading" the dishwasher, and also how much he loved trying to find matches for all of the socks in the dryer. His mysterious Texan accent that I have no idea how he acquired...

Four years old. Not a baby anymore, but my baby. My last baby. They're growing up, and I have too. I don't know what the future holds, of course. I still have the biology to have more children but for now, this is my life; my entire universe. At 27 years old, my child-rearing years were fulfilled. Both a blessing and a curse.

"I am a warrior, so that my son may be a merchant, so that his son may be a poet." -- John Adams

All that I can do is my best. Keep fighting the fight; be a warrior. When times are hard, I remember that I live for them. That I do what I do, I have hard times, I stumble and sometimes I fall; sometimes I fail miserably; but I do it all so that their lives may be better. So that they can have the opportunities I didn't; so that in many ways, their lives will be easier. God-willing, they won't have to go through some of the things that I went through.

I am a warrior, so that my son may be a merchant, so that his son may be a poet.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Hey Lizard Berry!

I've been trying to come down out of an avocado haze. Guacamole is my latest vice, especially since avocados have been so readily available lately. This following video? So true! They're evil!

I blogged a recipe over at my other blog found here, with step one of what I'm going to do to lose my Frosh 15.

And by Frosh 15 I mean winter-fluffiness caused by Netflix, guacamole, Tostitos and agoraphobia.

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Your Mom Goes to College!

Or, in the case of my children: their mom goes to college!

I got accepted, y'all! I've been stressed about this, have been having minor panic attacks that they wouldn't want me since I haven't been to university in 10 years, never did finish and haven't been doing much since then except birthin' babies. Why am I talking like a redneck? See? Stay-at-home-momism is affecting my brain! My I.Q. is dropping by the second!

I haven't told my dad or my sister yet, and I just got the email a few minutes ago... but yeah, I'll just go ahead and tell the entire internet first. In a few years, this is gonna be me:

Am I scared to death? Heck yes. But I'm finally feeling that this year, of all years... when I'm going to be turning 32 *gasp*, my life is finally coming together. I know now that even though it's going to be hella hard, I can do this. Mama's got this one in the bag.

That's all,
Twills
XOXO

Blog is the New Black

Many of you I know from our days of more prolific blogging on MySpace. Those were the days, weren't they? Where I would just sit down usually every day (sometimes twice!), empty my head out and into a blog, then hit "Post". I didn't care about what I was putting out into the world, I just wanted it out of my brain. It wasn't writing, it wasn't even "serious blogging", it was just fun and also therapeutic.

When the exodus from MySpace to Facebook happened, I lost contact with nearly every one of my "Friends" and have missed their blogs ever since. One of these former MySpace bloggers, Dana, has come up with a brilliant idea to try to get us all organised again. To revive our abandoned blogs and spend less time playing those time-suck Facebook games. Even to delete our accounts if possible. I've scaled down my FB use significantly lately, but I won't delete it because I have a lot of family members there that I don't get to see often enough and it helps us to catch up with one another.

I have been wanting to start writing again for a long time now, I just needed a push. Thank you, Dana, for doing this for all of us. She has compiled a list seen here. If you would like to join us in blogging more regularly, drop her a note and she will add you to the list. I intend to subscribe to everyone on the list, though I know that I haven't exactly been *ahem* even reading blogs either. I know! I'm awful! In fact, that's going to be my New Year's Resolution. Read and write more blogs. Also, if you have a blog and I am not subscribed to it, leave your url in the comments section for me. Pretty please?

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

To Shai With Love: Raspberry Lemonade Cupcakes

I made these cupcakes a few weeks ago for my aunt and uncle's 30th wedding anniversary surprise party. My friend Shainoor asked me for the recipe, but why just write the recipe out when I can do a photo blog for my bff? Her mom helped me learn how to cook, and is the reason why we didn't starve on our diet of Happy Meals and Coca-Cola in university. Now I'm going to help her to bake!

I've adapted a recipe from the cupcake bible: Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, but as usual I don't make it vegan because my son is allergic to most of the vegan substitutes for butter and milk.  We just won't tell the vegans that I do this, because I don't want to get lynched.  I also added some extra stuff and took liberties with the method.  Here is a photo of my ingredients before I started:

First thing, preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  I'm bad at remembering to do this.  Then get a big bowl and whisk together one cup of milk and one teaspoon of apple cider vinegar (use this kind just because it's more mild).  The milk will get chunky, which is good.  You can also use milk that has already gone chunky!  The best cupcakes I ever made were baked with some old-ass coconut milk that I had neglected at the back of the fridge.  Would I drink it on it's own?  Hell no!  But for baking it's pure GOLD.

So while you're letting that curdle for about ten to fifteen minutes, you can mix the dry ingredients together:  1 and 1/4 cup cake and pastry flour; 2 tbsp cornstarch; 3/4 teaspoon baking powder (you must use Magic brand because most others suck); 1/2 teaspoon baking soda; 1/2 teaspoon salt; the zest of one lemon.

A note about zesting a lemon.  Wash the damn thing first, I scrub them too because some stores put wax on them.  The zester that I have is from Lee Valley and it is worth it's weight in gold, but cheese graters usually have a semi-useful zester stuck on one side.

Then you can whisk in the other wet ingredients with the funky milk mixture:  1/3 cup canola oil; 3/4 cup sugar; 2 teaspoons vanilla extract (for eff's sake, get some good stuff and not imitation!); 1/2 teaspoon pure lemon extract.

Then you can whisk the dry stuff into the wet stuff, or use an electric mixer if you want.  It should resemble this:

Pour it into those paper thingies that you put in the cupcakes pans, about 2/3 full.  Any more full and they'll overflow and will be a bitch to work with.  Use the shiny metal pans instead of the dark, non-stick ones if you can.  If you only have the dark ones, decrease the heat to 325 degrees instead of 350 because they'll cook faster and might burn on the bottom.

Bake them for about 18 to 20 minutes, or until they get a little brown on the edges, the tops are cracked and they smell like heaven.  I was kind of messy when I was filling the cups because I was trying to fend off the three year old from sticking his hands/face/tongue into it... but you get the idea:

These don't rise as high as cupcakes from a box, but that's because they're so much better than from a box and they don't have eggs in them.  But the flatter top is better for piling icing on!

The ingredients for icing:

The syrup might be a bitch to find right now because the factory is on strike.  But here is their website.  I bought mine back home in Newfoundland, but I've also seen it in Walmart, Zellers, and Price Chopper.  Anyone else who is not in Canada or who can't find this stuff can get some raspberry syrup from a barrista or Americans can just get some here.  It's not the stuff that you'd use on waffles, it's the stuff you'd use to flavour drinks.  Got it?

Cream 1/4 cup of butter with 1/4 cup of vegetable oil shortening.  You'll need electricity for this part because you really have to beat the fuck out of icing to get it to mix really well. ;)

With a fork, mash in about 1 and a half cups of icing sugar until it looks all crumbly.  Otherwise if you try to use your electric mixer it'll make icing sugar fly all over the place.

Now you can beat in slightly less than four tablespoons of raspberry syrup, about 1/4 teaspoon of lemon extract, and 1/4 teaspoon of lemon juice from the lemon that you just scalped earlier.

If you don't like the consistency, beat in extra icing sugar one tablespoon at a time until it feels right.  You can taste along the way as well just to make sure. :)

So today I just quickly made these so I could take the pictures:

But if you wanted to get really fancy, you could always put your icing into a piping bag and swirl it on top of your cupcakes like I did last time:

I added simple dragées for decoration, and they looked pretty and tasted hella good.  Any questions?

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

 

No Boys Allowed!

I realise that this may be boring for most of you who aren't into clothes and shoes and blogs that don't have bad words in them (I don't mention dicks once!), but I started a new project.  One which caters to my narcissistic side even more so than what I do here, in which I take pictures of myself wearing clothes.  30 items, 30 days.  No freaking shopping for 30 freaking days.  *gasp*  If anything it will challenge my ideas on consumerism?  My apologies to the serious-writer type friends, I'm trying to keep the words to a minimum over there.

Link!

That's all,

Twills

XOXO

Meet: Holly Go Frightly!

Warning:  Girl Screams ahead!

I have just realised a dream of mine within the past few weeks.  I've always been the type to discourage myself, and to harbour a defeatist attitude when it came to doing the things that I really wanted to do.  Perhaps it's partially a self esteem issue, partly laziness, I don't know.  The only thing I do know is that it took a teenager from England that I haven't even met in real life to shake me up and tell me, "If you really want to do that, then you can find a way to do it."  This was just the sort of kick in the ass that I needed, and from an unexpected source.

So I did it.

I joined a roller derby team.

*squeal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*  <--girl scream

If you don't know what exactly that entails, it happens to be a lot of this:

And no, I'm not just doing this to have a valid excuse to wear fishnets and a tutu all the time, because my tattoos will fit in better in that type of environment, or even to meet hot lesbians.  It's not just because I want to shop more often at Sock Dreams, though I admit that's good incentive. ;)  Do you know how hard it is to find *my kind of people*?  I know I've found a good many on the internet, but I think I may have actually finally found some in REAL LIFE, and that *maybe* I'm not such a freak after all!  (Though I think I'll always be freaky.  Rawr!)  But seriously, *my* kind of people?

*squeal!!!!!!!*

 

If you could suffer through Drew's insipid lisp to get the gist of what she was trying to say, she actually had it right.  Roller derby is intensely physical, even dangerous!  Those bitches make me feel wimpy!  It's about female empowerment; it's about being accepted for who you are regardless of age, body type, ethnicity, education or socioeconomic background.  You can be a newly separated mother of three with stretch marks and an ass that just won't quit and still be a roller girl!  In fishnets!

*squeal!!!!!!!!!*

So in a week and a half I start my vigorous eleven week training camp.  I have no idea who is going to be watching my kids, or how I'm going to cope with sweating my ass off and still have to commute one hour each way all the while craving a shower like a common wharf doxy, but that's okay.  Those things I will deal with as they come.  The important thing is that I pursued a dream of mine, and I alone am making it a reality.  If I  end up crushing every bone in my body I'll be a happy, broken bitch when I'm in traction.  That's something I can feel good about for the rest of my life.  Now if I could just stop gagging and puking every time my mouth guard is in, I'd be all set...  Pointers?

That's all,

Twills

XOXO